There are ways to battle social anxiety, namely by socializing... I just wanted to take a moment to ponder this uphill battle.
A party bus,
bound for a 70's themed
excuse to emboozify,
to mummify strangers into
companionship,
doors shut me out
New "friends"
ride into the night,
"catch the next one,"
they call,
tears strike
as alone in the dark
in an unfamiliar campus
with shoes that cut me,
I succumb to
the safety patrol bus,
which takes me home
The only safe place,
always home.
Crowds,
since the beginning
unnerving,
four or more people,
whether known or not
shut me down,
shut me out,
make it impossible to utter
complete sentences,
only phrases,
then tears strike
stupid, shy, snobby,
a smorgosboard of "s" words
destined to describe me.
The only safe place,
always home.
Newspaper splatterings,
and social network murmur,
friendings and minglings,
people who've met you,
but don't remember
Loneliness,
never my only friend,
always one or two or three
or ten, on which to "depend,"
progress
has no rules that match
the quick tick of time,
one day splendid,
the next day fine,
but without exception,
soon the need to hide,
shut them out,
cry.
The only safe place,
always home.
A film premiere,
meant for me,
200 some people,
the actresses, a few friends, family
the after party,
just an appetizer room
with wine,
heavenly wine,
no one mingled with me,
even though the film, it was mine
17 days straight, I worked until I almost died,
and my only friend was myself that night.
doors shut me out,
which takes me home,
always home,
then the tears strike,
destined to describe me,
always home,
don't remember,
cry,
always home,
and my only friend was myself that night.
